Wrassle-Palooza: John Cena - "You Can't See Me"

I wish I can't see this album, let alone hear it...

WARNING: Some of the material in this review may not be suitable for younger audiences. Parental Guidance is Suggested.

Greetings, loyal members of the Rave Up Music Universe, and welcome back to our “Wrassle-Palooza” Month! I am Barius, and well…*sigh* we have reached the album I have dreaded reviewing since I decided to do this “Wrassle-Palooza” Month. I dread it because it involves the current most popular superstar in the WWE, and I am not a big fan of him. I am, of course, talking about John Cena.

Now, let me clarify something first: I do not dislike the man John Cena. From what I can gather, he seems like a decent guy. Plus, his work with the Make-A-Wish Foundation is very commendable. However, the character John Cena portrays on WWE television is not my favorite character to watch. The character is presented as being a modern-day version of Hulk Hogan, but with less of a personality. His character has also not seen a lot of growth in the last seven years, which in those seven years he has collectively held the WWE World Heavyweight Championship for 1,191 days over 14 different reigns, one of them lasting over 380 days.

However, there was a time when I did not despise the John Cena character. When he debuted in 2002 in a match against Kurt Angle, I actually saw a lot of potential in him.

Cena actually does more than five moves, including some moves that the current version would not even consider doing in a match…

After a Halloween segment where Cena dressed up and rapped like Vanilla Ice, Cena developed a rap persona, and some of his raps were fantastic, especially when he would diss his opponents.

Here is a highlight of some of his best raps.

In time, John wrote the lyrics to his entrance music, “Basic Thuganomics,” which, when paired with his rap gimmick, helped to put the character over with the fans. This eventually led to his first WWE Championship in 2005 at Wrestlemania 21. From here on out, I started to despise the character, for noticed his limited set move, as well as how much he was being build to be the next Hulk Hogan. Seven years since his first title win, and I really hope the creative team in the WWE come up with something better for him, beside giving him a different color t-shirt to sell every few months.

Geez, Cena could form his own Power Rangers team based on his different color shirts…

Not too long after winning the WWE Title, Cena teamed up with his cousin, Tha Trademarc (Mark Predka), to release his first album, entitled You Can’t See Me. From what I can gather, the album received some mixed reviews. Too be honest, I have avoided this album for a long time, even when it came out in 2005, even though I loved his raps on WWE television. But, if Hulk Hogan’s and Randy Savage’s rapping skills are any indication, I am not really looking forward to it. So, without further delay, let us take a look at John Cena – You Can’t See Me.

THE ALBUM COVER:

Well, that is a very gaudy looking album cover. It is just a picture of the “spinner” WWE Championship belt that Cena was using at the time. This is the kind of album cover that either gets your attention, or you just walk away from it. Believe it or not, this is really one of the very few pro wrestling reference we are going to get on this whole album, which give me a little bit of hope that the album maybe be decent. And, I really mean a little bit of hope.

THE TRACKS:

“The Time is Now”

Yeah, I may be bias on this track, but I really despise this song. The beat is mind-numbingly repetitive, and the synthesized brass hits are really annoying to hear. Though the lyrics flow decently, I really have heard this song hundreds of times over the last seven years that I have grown tired of it. Plus, every time I hear it, I half expect Cena to start rapping in Spanish. The song is your standard “it is my time to shine” kind of rap song, and it is really just annoying to hear.

“Don’t Wanna F**k with Us”

Well, this is something was not expecting to hear: John Cena cursing while rapping. This is definitely a surprise to hear, especially considering how the character on WWE is like today. This song is definitely not rated TV-PG. Anyway, the song has some weird musical moments in it. There this low bass sound in it that sounds like someone belching into a microphone with a phaser effect on it. The beat is really low-key, and not too terrible to listen to. What makes this song not enjoyable is the lyrical content, mostly because I have no ideas what massage Cena and Trademarc are trying to convey here, regardless of the title of the song. Though their flow is decent, the message is lost in translation.

“Flow Easy”

This song is about how it is easy for Cena, Trademarc and guest rapper Bumpy Knuckles to flow on the microphone. Basically, it is a brag fest about how super-special-awesome they can rap, and how natural it comes to them. While I do think they do rap well, the song is kind of generic in terms of rap songs. It really does not stand out on this album, and I honestly would just skip it.

“Right Now”

And here we have Cena’s attempt to have a heartfelt, soulful, slow-jam rap song. And honestly, he does succeed here on this song. I really dig the beat of this song, and the lyrics that show love and respect is a surprisingly nice change of pace from the usual rap about being with bitches, drinking, and living the high life. The tone in Cena’s and Trademarc’s is very somber, and really makes the song somewhat enjoyable.

“Make It Loud”

Oh, goody: a crowd-pumping rap song. I think I have already expressed my dislike for this kind of rap song in the Macho Man review, so if you all do not mind, I think I am going to go and skip this one. The only thing to note on this one is Cena and Trademarc curse up a storm in the verses. Yeah, that is about it…

“Just Another Day”

This song has a very interesting concept to it. Cena portrays a rich guy who is lonely at the top of the world, while Tha Trademarc portrays a guy struggling at the bottom of the food chain. They both express the struggles that each of them is going through, and even if they live very different lives, they are not happy with what they have in life. Both Cena and Trademarc have excellent flow to their raps, and the beat is pretty good. Overall, this is a pretty decent track.

“Summer Flings”

Now, here is a track I would never have picture Cena doing: a story about him hooking up with some chick. Cena is doing a song that nearly EVERY RAPPER DOES! Yeah, I am going to pass on this one, too. Although, I think I heard him making a comparison to himself and Ric Flair, legendary wrestling champion. I am sorry John, but you are nowhere near the ladies’ man that Ric Flair is.

“Keep Frontin’”

This is only the ninth track on the album, and only now do we get a song about beating the crud out of someone. Interestingly, Cena does a good job not referencing any wrestling maneuvers in the song. Regardless of that accomplishment, the song is not that great. The examples Cena uses really make no sense, and I really cannot get into this song, even if I was a big rap fan.

“We Didn’t Want You to Know”

I think the most interesting thing about this song is Cena referring himself as “Cen’.” Boy, I am kind of glad that never caught on. The song is about not letting someone know that Cena and Trademarc are in control. Yeah, that is some information I could live without knowing. Also, Cena makes a Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan reference in the song, and my inner nerd wants to go into a nerd rage.

“Bad, Bad Man”

And for the first time through this review, I have found a song that actually manages to get a chuckle out of me. “Bad, Bad Man” is one of the funniest songs on the album, and it is because is it an absolutely horrible song. Cena raps on the song about how he is a bad man, and not that trusted because of tough life he has lived. This coming from the man who grew up in a semi-middle class home, played football in college, and living the high life as a professional wrestler. Oh yeah, Cena is a BAD man…Also, the rest of the raps are just really ridiculous to hear, and I recommend the song if you need a good laugh.

 “Beantown”

“Beantown” is a semi-tribute to John Cena’s hometown of Boston, Massachusetts, since “Beantown” is one of the many nicknames given to the city. It is your standard “My town is better than your town, and if you say anything bad about, we will beat you up for it” kind of rap song. Really, there is not a whole lot to say about it, so I say to just skip it.

“This is how we Roll”

Well, I kind of like the electric keyboard introduction to this song. That is about it on this song. It is just your standard “this-is-my-life-deal-with-it” song. Also, Cena uses the phrase, “s**t sandwich.” Yeah…

“What Now”

Oh joy, another slow-jam song by Cena, or in this case, Tha Trademarc. Seriously, Trademarc is featured in most of this song. The song is another song about how awesome both Cena and Marc are as rappers. Yes gentlemen, we get: both of you are good at rapping. Seriously, whenever I hear a rapper rapping about how great they are at their rapping skills, I feel like I need to disagree with them on it. It is like they are over compensating for something else. So yeah, I would skip this one as well.

“Know the Rep”

 Another rap song about how awesome they are as rappers? Pass.

“Chain Gang is the Click”

There is a lot of shouting on this one. Also another rap song about how our crew is better than yours. I really could not care any less about songs like this. Is this album almost finished?

“If it All Ended Tomorrow”

Well, here we are at the last track of the album, entitled “If it All Ended Tomorrow.” And, believe or not, this is the song I can tolerate the most on this album. It is one of those existential look at life, and how if everything ended tomorrow, would anybody really care if you were gone. Both Trademarc and Cena brought up two very different scenarios about possibly facing the end of their lives. This song has some of the most expressive, flowing lyrics on the whole album, and the beat is pretty good. Overall, it is probably the one of the only songs on the album I stand listening to.

OVERALL IMPRESSION:

When I decided to review John Cena’s rap album, I was really expecting the very worse. Though I liked Cena’s freestyle raps on WWE, I thought it would be totally ruined by the used of guest artists and Tha Trademarc. After listening to the album, it surprisingly exceeded my expectations. But even saying that, I still do not like the album as a whole.

While some of the musical beats are catchy and Cena’s and Trademarc’s raps have excellent flow to them, a lot of the songs fall into the usual rap categories, such as songs about partying, representing your crew/town, and about how awesome they are as rappers. Also, a lot of the songs do not make a lot of sense lyrically. Cena uses a lot of weird word choices to rhyme, and some of the metaphors make no sense in the context of the music.

Even though I do not like the album as a whole, I do think there are a couple of gems on here. “Right Now” is a nice change of pace from the usual rap subjects, and has pretty nice flow to it. The same can be said about “If it All Ended Tomorrow.” I also like “Just Another Day” for the side-by-side comparison of the two lifestyles presented in the song. Overall, it may not be the best album ever made, but it does have some okay songs on it. If you want to hear a different side of Cena than what is presented currently on television, give You Can’t See Me a try. And if there are any parents out there reading this blog, here does exist a few clean versions of the album, though I do not recommend it for children. Huh, that is kind of ironic...

Well ladies and gentlemen; while I intended this review to be the end of our month-long “Wrassle-Palooza” reviews, I really think I need a palette cleanser from all of these terrible albums from professional wrestlers. I need a pro wrestler involved in some kind of good music. I need…a savior of some sort to save me from all of these rap and bad rock albums. I need someone to save for all of this horrible music. And think I know who can do just that…

Oh, yeah…next time, it is A Little Slice of Metal: Wrassle-Palooza Edition!

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