Top 10 Guilty Pleasure 80s Songs

 

WARNING: This blog features some terms and phrases used throughout the decade of the 1980s that are no longer acceptable in modern culture. Please excuse any cheesiness that is presented by Barius. He is kind of a dork about this kind of thing.

Greetings all you tubular people out there. Welcome to Rave Up Music! I am your host Barius, and on today’s blog, we are going to take look at the Decade of Excess, the Turbulent 1980s.

The 1980s was very gnarly time period that saw social, economic, and general change. The Cold Wars was near its final years, John Hughes made big stars out of the fame Brat Pack, and Michael Jackson was the biggest music artist in the world. Plus, he was still black.

 Thanks to gregoriusu for the clip.

With regards to music, the 1980s featured a wide array of style and genres. Heavy metal dominated the rock scene, and new wave and synth-pop were constantly being played on the radio. When it came to these two sides of the musical spectrum, a person is either a loyal metal head or you liked pop music, and rarely did you like the two sides. For me, being born in the latter part of the 1980s, I was exposed to both sides, but favored the metal head side more than the pop side. Normally, a metal head never lets his other musically aspects shine through, but today, I am throwing out the rule book and I am going to present to you my ten favorite 80s pops songs that would get my butt kicked by my metalhead brother. Of course, they would kick my butt for the fun of it regardless of the music a listen to, so I guess it does not really matter if I do this list.

Anyway, why Top 10? Well, let us just call me a traditionalist. So, throw on your leg warmers and Members Only Jacket while eating your Mr. T cereal…

 

Man, I kind of want some of that cereal now...

This is my Top 10 Guilty Pleasure 80s Songs!

Number 10: “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls (1982)

This song was the only hit from this group, making them one of many groups with the nickname “One Hit Wonder.” what makes this song a favorite of mine is simply the silly factor on this song. The lyrics are lame, and the synthesizer is generic. But, boy is the song’s chorus catchy and has a good beat. It’s cheesy, but boy is it a fun tune. No one can escape it, not even Fez from That 70s Show.

 I actually knew a few guys with that hair style...

Whenever I watch the music video, I get a weird vibe watching the twin plastic ladies walking around. Plus, what is up with the mirrors? Is the lead singer that vain about looks? Well, I would not be if I looked like Eraserhead.

Actually, Eraserhead is better looking...

“I Ran”: If you manage to not get this little number in your head, run very far away from it.

Number 9: “Mickey” by Toni Basil (1981)

 
Based on her infatuation of the Monkees Singer Mickey Dolenz, Toni Basil created a song that has now become synonymous with cheerleading. Granted that Basil and the others cheerleaders look like middle aged men in cheerleading drag, the song has a catchy hand clapping beat, and a chorus that is pretty memorable. Yeah, this song is annoying for some people, but I heard it so many times growing up, it sort of grew on me. Do I listen to it all the time? No, but I do enjoy it once in a while.

Like a Flock of Seagulls, Toni Basil is another one hit wonder, but I find her to be a slightly more successful one hit wonder. Why? Well, because she had her song parodied by “Weird Al” Yankovic, and we all know that once your song is parodied by “Weird Al,” you have cemented your place in music history.

Toni Basil’s “Mickey”: You’ll never look at cheerleading the same way after hearing this song.

Number 8: “Candy Girl” by New Edition (1983)

Being the 80s answer to the Jackson 5, New Edition’s Candy Girl was one of the first commercially successful song that combined elements of R&B, Pop, and Hip-Hop. The song is very upbeat, and the lyrics ridiculously clean cut, singing or rapping about how their candy girl is sweet and is the best. Gee, a song about how my girl is the best…I have never heard of that one before…

To be honest, I had forgotten about this song until a few years back, when filmmaker Kevin Smith used the song in his 1999 film Dogma in a scene that featured actress Salma Hayek.

You will never look at angels the same way again...

“Candy Girl”: Your girl may be good, but she is not as sweet as their girl…or girls…I think…

Number 7: “Walk Like an Egyptian” by The Bangles (1986)

Though technically more a rock song than a pop song, the song was so popular it was pretty much treated like a pop song. There are several factors to why I like this song. First off, the Bangles actually play their instruments, already a step up in my book. Second, each member is featured vocally, and they sound pretty good. Heck, even the drummer has a whistle breakdown in the song.

However, there are a few things that prevent me from liking this song. While it is cool to see the drummer playing tambourine in the song, the drum set is still playing in the background. And no, it is not a loop sample, it is a real drum set sound. Yeah I am nit-picking, but for me, it is annoying visually and audibly to have a drum set playing but no drummer playing it.

What also bugs me about the song is the actual “Walk like an Egyptian” concept. There are so many variations on walking like an Egyptian, such as moving your arm and head, or not at all, that it begs for clarification on what walking like an Egyptian actually looks like.

Outside of my nit-picking, all I have to say is “Walk like an Egyptian” is catchy, demonstrates strong musicianship from all of the members, and continues to be a standard of pop rock music.

Number 6: “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany (1987)

Released in 1987, this cover of a 1967 song by Tommy James and the Shondell was Tiffany’s biggest hit, and it is easy to see why. The beat is catchy and pushed the song tempo, and Tiffany’s singing is pretty decent on this song for a young teenager. Plus, it has glorified 80s synthesizers, which I am a sucker for. Today, it remains Tiffany’s biggest hit, and she continues to play to this day.

Yeah, there is not much I can say about this, but trust me; we will get back to Ms. Tiffany Darwish here another time…

“I Think We’re Alone Now”: A phrase many boys in the 80s said to themselves every night as the secretly watched this video. Those poor, pathetic souls…

Number 5: “Down Under” by Men at Work (1981)

A song full of great Australian pride, this 1981 hit has a standout flute part that some of you might know.

That is correct: the children’s nursery rhyme “Kookaburra.” In fact, the estate of the song’s composer Marion Sinclair sued Men of Work of infringing copyright, and now, Men at Work pay a percents of the royalties. Well, that is ridiculous. I mean, the whole song is homage to all things Australia, including its folk music. I mean, look at the music video, which features Paul Hogan imitators, vegemite sandwiches, Fosters beer…wow, this song really does promote stereotyping Australians.

Anyway, despite its stereotyping of Australia, “Down Under” is a lot of fun with memorable melodic ideas, and a very catch chorus section. This song definitely deserves the number 5 spot.

Number 4: “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper (1984)

To be honest, this is probably the strangest song on this countdown, and not because it is Cyndi Lauper, she is strange enough as it is. It is because this is the only ballad on the list. It is on this list because it demonstrates that Cyndi Lauper can sing without sounding like a strangled chipmunk. On top of the that, the verses draw a lot of emotion of how some things may change, but the good, fond memories remain with us for all times. On a more critical view, there is one line that I always found strange.

Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time

I do not think that was originally supposed to be there. It was as if Lauper was complaining that the drummer was not playing correctly. Then again, if I complained about drumbeats being out of time, most of the songs on this list would be gone.

“Time After Time”: Because when it comes to these types of lists, it is some times about the nostalgia…

Number 3: “99 Luftbaloons” or “99 Red Balloons” by Nena (1983/1984)

Before Rammstein made the German language popular in modern music, there was Nena with this bass heavy hit. Though it has an upbeat sound, the song is a Cold-War protest song, and was inspired when the band saw several red balloons flying over the horizon. The balloons look more like a shape-shifting hovercraft, and could possibly be seen as a threat to Soviets that occupied East Germany.

Like any international hit, the song was translated into English for American audiences to enjoy, though my opinion, the original German version is a lot better. 

The German lyrics flow better, and are not as cheesy as the English version. I am all for cheesiness, but even I have my limits.

When it comes to Cold War tension, you can count on Nena to provide the perfect song to ease that tension.

Number 2: “The Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats (1983)

Oh, “The Freaking Safety Dance.” This song is without a doubt, one of the most annoying, mind-numbing bad songs to come out of the 80s. So, why is it number two on my list? Because this song it ridiculously catchy, and no one can help but dance to it. I mean, even Beavis and Butthead have fallen under its hypnotic beats.

 Okay, maybe not...

The song’s strongest musical aspect is its ridiculous beats and synthesized grooves. But, the lyrics are just…really stupid.

I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We're doing it from wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance

Um…why do I need to look at my hands?

When I was a kid, it was hard to tell what the safety dance is about. It is public safety? Preventing nuclear war? Safe sex? It was really unclear. Now that I am older, and through the wonders of the Internet, the song is about protesting bouncers who prevented pogo dancers from pogoing/slam dancing in the clubs when disco was dying out of style. Wait, it involves disco music?!?! Damn it! I think I might actually hate this song now…

“The Safety Dance”: helping to promote safe pogo dancing all over the world.

Number 1: “Kids in America” by Kim Wilde (1981)

For any rocker, this is the antithesis of what we listen to. To me, it is a fun, overly cheesy 80s song. And I absolutely love it. From the catchy synthesizers to simple beat and chord progression, I cannot get enough of it. The backing vocals are silly, but they add to the charm of the song. Kim Wilde herself is a pretty good vocalist, and though there are better songs by her, this one catapulted her career. To me, this song is one of the quintessential 80s song.

And apparently, I am not the only one who feels this way about this song. Many bands have covered this song, including, The Bloodhound Gang, The Donnas, Len, and even Alvin and the Chipmunks. Heck, those awful Jonas Brothers covered it, but changed it to “Kids of the Future.” So yeah, it is a popular song. Heck, maybe some day I will look at some of these other version…

Man, do I enjoy JonTron...

With its catchy vocals, danceable beat, and over abundance of 80s synthesizers and musical style, this is one song that will not going away any time soon. With many bands covering it, and my love for cheesy 1980s music, I cannot help but feel that “Kids in America” has earned its spot as my number one guilty-pleasure eighties song.

And that is not only my list of my guilty-pleasure 80s song, but my first countdown list. I hope you enjoy it, and…you know what? I am kind of grooving this 1980s thing. I feel like I should look at a rock album during this point in music history. So, join me next time as I look at a unique album from one of the biggest rock bands of all time. Until then, that is all the time we have for Rave Up Music. I am Barius, and as always, keep on rockin’.

NOTE: All material and media featured in this blog are owned by their respected copyright holders, and are only used for purposes of review, commentary and satire under the terms of Fair Use. Please support the official release of all media used in this review.